iNNER pEACE

Amazingly, I have taken deep breaths and found my center. Unfortunately, it looked like this...

Calm was never my thing. Very extreme, lots of emotion, good and bad...mostly bad. Anger, for some reason, I excelled at.
If something made me mad, I was intensely pissed.
If something bothered me, I was furious.
If someone aggravated me, I hurt them.

Now, as amusing as this may sound, it just was not a convenient or acceptable way to live. Since then, I have adjusted, and been able to forgive and control.

Oh it's not a problem.
Oh no sure go ahead.
Please, after you.
Completely my fault.
Take your time.
My pleasure.
Thank you.

These are all great tools to help you fool others, and yourself, into thinking you are patient and calm. Just use them when you feel flustered and like magic...you are a kind soul.

So now, throw in an addiction.
I am a smoker. Fairly heavy.
Ok, wait, not a smoker...WAS a smoker. Yea I quit. That was my other inner peace. I get frustrated by idiots, discouraged by incompetence, angry at the world...breathe, say some kind things, and all else fails, smoke a cigarette. Problem solved.

New problem...I quit. Now reality is even more so.
No more cigarette when I am angry, or upset, or sad, or bored, or tired, or, or, or ever! For nothing.

I can say, that I am doing good. My quit date really was my quit date. I have not smoked since. AND, I haven't harmed anyone. I would say I am a success.

So now, onto a not so angry center. Time to find my Zen. What do the experts say?

Think good thoughts...

Ooo tough sometimes.

Forgive others...

I really do try.

Laugh...

At idiots and a$$h013$? uhhh...

Exercise...

I can do that.

Pilates looks calm and zen-enducing. Ready, set, downward dog!




*not actual photo, ok well, actual photo, but not actually me.