A professional writer

Here I go again with the long break from blogging. Eh what can I say, I'm a busy woman. On an excellent note, I sold an article! That's right, you are now reading the blog of a professional writer. It was just a parenting article under a thousand words, but it was exactly what someone wanted because they bought it!

It's funny how I have had the worst writer's block ever since my first article sold. It came to me so easily. The words flew from my fingers like lightning. Now, my brain is frozen. Hopefully I can get some inspiration and sell some more. Wouldn't it be wonderful to get paid for something that is enjoyable AND comes naturally? Of course it would!

Wish me luck!

Quoth the Donald, nevermoron

So Donald Trump was quoted saying he is "the least racist person".

This got me to thinking about our future president (Bahahaahaha!). Saying you are the least racist person, is basically saying you are racist, just not as much as other racist people. Who is he less racist than? Who are these other racist people that he has the privilege of being lower than on the prejudice totem pole?

Or is he claiming to be less racist than EVERYONE who is racist, not just an elite group.

Either way, I got a chuckle at this statement. After all, being the least dumbest person doesn't make you smart, now does it?

Thanks Mr. Trump, for being the least moronic today, but not intelligent by any means.

Edna and Morpheus

I don't know why, but every time I see a couple's names written somewhere, I always find myself imagining who they are and what they are like.

Facebook gets me the worst. Someone will mention a couple in their status and my mind just goes.

"thank you Mike and Lynn for all your help!" - aww Mike and Lynn are helpful! Oh I bet Mike is a cop. A young cop who just got promoted recently. He is average but handsome and clean shaven. Lynn is his wife. A brunette with a soft but quirky smile. They met through friends during college. She was an art major. Lynn is an art teacher, I'm sure (I mean come on...how else do artists make any money?).
The friend is thanking them for all their help arranging a fund raiser for a sick child in need of surgery that is the child of a friend of theirs.

Ok so it's not ALWAYS that in depth. Sometimes I don't have a story. When there are just names, I usually just imagine images.

"Caleb and Trisha" - hmmm. I bet Caleb is a redhead. He is very tall with a crooked posture. They are both in their early 30's. Trisha is a short blonde. Slightly heavyset but still loves denim cutoff shorts. They sound lovely.

I can't explain it. I don't intentionally focus on who these people might be. Am I the only person who imagines what people are attached to these mysterious names we come across? Just because my wandering, wild imagination takes it a step further, doesn't mean that other people don't have a milder form of this name-identifying habit.

In fact I know some people do this to an extent. You must have met someone and said "oh you don't look like a George" or "I pictured you looking different".

That was you guessing a person's looks by their name, or already having a stereotype for a certain name. It's cool, if we all do it, it can't be so bad, right? Like swearing, or watching reality television.

Roma and Jefferson

There's one to mull over.

Love ya!
Peace peoples.

Diaper Lottery

Lately, every time I change my baby's diaper, his big brother will accompany me with some interesting commentary. At first I thought it was just curiosity from my five year old.

"Is it pee? Let me see. It's peepee."
"Did he poop? Yea? Poopoo? Ok."

Then I thought he was trying to tease me. I mean, who wants to change a diaper anyway.

"Peepee? Ha!"
"You gotta change poopie? Yea!"

At first I was mad, but then I realized it's not that either. It was a game.

"Did he pee or poop, mama? Pee? Yes!"
"Pee or poo? Nice!"
"Poopie? Ha! I was right!"

Ok, this child is a little too excited about his brother's bodily functions. It's not like we are talking about farts. Farts are funny. What is going on?

He was "right"? Wait a minute. What do you mean you were right?
"I guess what is in his diaper and I'm always right."

Ew. It's a game. A gross diaper-content-guessing game. Well I've witnessed stranger things, so I can't say I'm completely surprised that's what he's been doing.

You have to love your kids' quirks. After all, in some way, I'm sure they got them from you.

Stay tuned! Coming soon!

Sorry folks. Been very busy, but I am cooking up a new comic for the next post. Stay tuned!
Xoxoxoxoxo

Chalk driveway drawings yay!

Ok maybe not a very informative post, but I couldn't resist. This is what I did all day, instead of writing.

Today's masterpieces brought to you by my awesome 5 year old (and me of course. Who can resist chalk drawing?)

Let's examine, see the colors? The strokes? Amazing stuff.

Can you guess which drawings are mine?

It's too bad, because these were done with 3-D chalk, that makes your pictures pop when you wear the glasses. Unfortunately that does not translate on camera.

This has been a thrilling presentation of chalk driveway drawings. Thanks for tuning in.

Peaces!

FAN-tastic

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