I am sure you have realized by now that I am one of those people who picks something up and drops it. Sorry about that. Hehe. I haven't forgotten you. Chk bak!

Designated Area For Exercise

I signed up for a gym membership. Tons of machines that look the same, with one little difference that changes it from a machine that tones your thigh to a machine that works your shoulders.
Everyone inside is working up a sweat.
Running, lifting, stretching, and toning themselves. Now this is all the typical spectacle in any gym, but what struck me as ironic was what happened outside.
Arriving at the gym on a busy night, the parking lot is a little busy. As I turn around to the next section of the lot, I observe several other cars driving around. It's not that we can't find a spot.
I realize we are all driving around trying to find the spot closest to the door. We spend sixty dollars a month to run on a treadmill and use all of this equipment to get fit, yet are too lazy to park more than thirty steps from the entrance.
I immediately drive to the back half of the lot and park, away from all of the other cars.
Then I jog to the door, laughing. Partly at the ballet of determination the other cars are still performing, and partly at myself for have being one of them.
Is that irony or just idiotic?

Disappointment

So close to, almost whole, so near to
Having it all.
It's over, that's all gone.
Such a shame, waiting so long.
I give up
I don't care
It's not fair
Whatever
Whatever you want
I give up
That me is gone
A piece of me
So long

Gettin' Paid

Money just doesn't come easy these days. I say these days, but I don't think it ever did. As times get tougher, I find my imagination gets stronger and wilder, in an attempt to find a source of income. Sure I have my 9 to 5, but what about a little 'spending money', or even some 'eating money'.
Here are the fruits of my brainstorming:

Possible alternate sources of expendable income

1. Become an inventor and create the most amazing thing ever that everyone MUST have.

2. Become a famous singer, actress, or celebrity socialite train wreck.

3. Hit the lottery.

4. Become a successful entrepreneur.

So yeah....I'll let you know how that works out. In the meantime, keep clicking those google ads and bringing in the pennies for me!!!!!

TAKE A BREAK!

The Scruffs Uncover Grandpa's secret and help The Scruffs save their family home.

Play this free game now!!

Finish What You Start

My therapist told me that the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start.

So far today, I have finished two bags of chips and a chocolate cake.

I feel better already.

source http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny=20080708

For my Mom

Knowing about my blog greatly increases the chance that you will actually see it, so I figured while my chances are getting better, I may as well give a shout out.
HEY MOM!!!!
Now, one day, when my blog is famous and I have a million subscribers, you can say....look, that's my scatterbrained daughter...and she loves me.







Yeah, I love my mom, and as much as I am like my father, (which is a lot), we thoroughly confirmed that I am like my mother.
She is sweet, kind, caring, intelligent, and yes......her life is composed of a million pieces.

Hey Mom, here's to you piecing together your million peaces.

Love you mom!

For WRITERS

Sometimes I dream of a write's life. Ideas spilling out onto paper, long days near the window, looking for inspiration. Selling my first book. But then I realize, after a couple pages...this shit is hard! Here's a little help:

Other Words for "Said" Acknowledged
Added
Admitted
Advised
Agreed
Announced
Answered
Approved
Argued
Assumed
Assured
Asked
Babbled
Bargained
Began
Boasted
Bragged
Called
Claimed
Commanded
Commented
Complained
Cried
Decided
Demanded
Denied
Described
Dictated
Emphasized
Estimated
Exclaimed
Explained
Expressed
Feared
Giggled
Grinned
Grunted
Indicated
Insisted
Instructed
Laughed
Lectured
Lied
Mentioned
Moaned
Mumbled
Murmured
Nagged
Noted
Notified
Objected
Observed
Ordered
Pleaded
Pointed out
Prayed
Predicted
Questioned
Reassured
Related
Repeated
Replied
Responded
Requested
Restated
Revealed
Roared
Ruled
Scolded
Screamed
Shouted
Shrieked
Snapped
Sneered
Sobbed
Spoke
Sputtered
Stammered
Stated
Stormed
Suggested
Taunted
Thought
Told
Urged
Uttered
Vowed
Wailed
Warned
Whispered

A Musician

Hey Delilah! Picture it....standing on stage, lights dim. The crowd is quiet. I begin to strum her beautiful smooth strings. The crowd recognizes the song, and begins to cheer. I start to sing, and the lights get brighter. For a minute, I see the audience, singing, cheering, claping, dancing. They love my music. I love to create music. It's a great relationship....

TAKE A BREAK!

Doeo Touch all of the Doeos quickly as you can.

Play this free game now!!

iNNER pEACE

Amazingly, I have taken deep breaths and found my center. Unfortunately, it looked like this...

Calm was never my thing. Very extreme, lots of emotion, good and bad...mostly bad. Anger, for some reason, I excelled at.
If something made me mad, I was intensely pissed.
If something bothered me, I was furious.
If someone aggravated me, I hurt them.

Now, as amusing as this may sound, it just was not a convenient or acceptable way to live. Since then, I have adjusted, and been able to forgive and control.

Oh it's not a problem.
Oh no sure go ahead.
Please, after you.
Completely my fault.
Take your time.
My pleasure.
Thank you.

These are all great tools to help you fool others, and yourself, into thinking you are patient and calm. Just use them when you feel flustered and like magic...you are a kind soul.

So now, throw in an addiction.
I am a smoker. Fairly heavy.
Ok, wait, not a smoker...WAS a smoker. Yea I quit. That was my other inner peace. I get frustrated by idiots, discouraged by incompetence, angry at the world...breathe, say some kind things, and all else fails, smoke a cigarette. Problem solved.

New problem...I quit. Now reality is even more so.
No more cigarette when I am angry, or upset, or sad, or bored, or tired, or, or, or ever! For nothing.

I can say, that I am doing good. My quit date really was my quit date. I have not smoked since. AND, I haven't harmed anyone. I would say I am a success.

So now, onto a not so angry center. Time to find my Zen. What do the experts say?

Think good thoughts...

Ooo tough sometimes.

Forgive others...

I really do try.

Laugh...

At idiots and a$$h013$? uhhh...

Exercise...

I can do that.

Pilates looks calm and zen-enducing. Ready, set, downward dog!




*not actual photo, ok well, actual photo, but not actually me.